REST IN PERFECT PEACE

Birthday Month, I'm Old

Hey Strangers!

Blowing the cobwebs off of this blog. I'm 50. Hit that big 5-0 this month. That should mean new adventures, right? Of course it should. AARP, and Senior Discounts are out there waiting to be found. I was blown over when I found out that the 50 plus crowd can get a 10% discount at Krispy Kreme!!! No wonder my new peeps are smiling. They have been getting well hidden perks.

Let me see, has anything changed for me? Well, my son is still a teen. I'm still employed. I do have a new truck, well not totally new, but new to me...well not even new to me any more as I have had it a while now. Diet, yes, I still struggle, and now my body has turned on me with hiatal hernias and such, so it really is a new adventure with all of that going on.

Anywho, here I am again, and here I go. I will, of course, return. :)

Peace

Happy Memorial Day

In memory of those who have served, and who still serve. Thank you.



*I'm laying here with the heating pad on my left knee, which is having an arthritic flare up, which is probably due to my sucky left heel. Is there some conspiracy to keep me out of the park and not walking??? Anyone with good ideas for exercising sitting down???

Peace

Today

I walked only 1 mile, and I've been rolling my heel on a tennis ball most of the day because my foot hurts and I'm limping. I'm not giving up. I'm gonna hit the pavement again. You may see me toting a cane, but I'm gonna walk some more. Tomorrow my village is having their annual MS Walk. I'm contemplating showing up. Before the leg surgery and the plantar getonmynerveswiththeheelitis thing, marathon walking was my goal, and I was on my way.

Even though my foot is hurting, I enjoyed my walk. My challenge today is my food intake. I've let my choices go to pot being semi depressed about the state of my walking, so, I feel hungry, like all day. And I've not missed a meal. I feel very snacky, which is not good. Not good at all for the day is not yet done. Oh well, such is the life of a lifetime loser.

Blogging, not me...

I have been wandering around the web, work, my city, the state, and everywhere else, except on this page. I suck. But I continue to show up here, eventually, to blog some small thing, and then I'm off to wander around some more.

Peace

Foot, Heel, and Pork

Plantar Faciitis sucks! Okay, as if it's not enough with the surgery on the right leg, the left heel decides to cut up, (raised southern here and we cut up all the time), and ruins my return to walking. So my new strategy is food. It always returns to food with me, doesn't it?

I have no label for this, although I've seen quite a few. I'm trying to be as meatless as possible, but I will not say I'm a vegetarian, or a flexitarian, or even a pescatarian. I've never been a big meat eater to start with, or at least I thought I was not, until I thought about my culturally southern endorsed foods!!! I fancied that up, but in the south, we are not always mad at the pig. In fact, we like him. General statement, don't take offense. If you happen to be southern and hate the pig, then more power to you. I used the pig, and he was good. In all seriousness, I like pork, and I liked the wrong types of pork. The salted kind.

So, back to me...I'm on day 5 with no meat, (yes, I had seafood), but no pork, turkey/chicken, or beef. And it's not too bad. I'm anxious to see if there is any difference in my weight. And until I can walk again, pain free, it's another thing to keep me motivated to lose.

Peace

Life

Oh, many things are happening, have happened, and is to come the Lord willing for my life. I've been distraught, at a loss of what to do, frustrated, not focused, very focused, sorting things out, alone, not alone, exhausted, seeking peace, at peace, it goes on and on. It's called my life. It may be your life, too.

I'm 49. I wonder if all of what I'm currently feeling, thinking, running from, running to, has to do with being 49. I'm on the cusp of life. I pray I am able to grow into a very old lady, who is wise, vivacious, and funny. I want to be so many things, and I want the years to be kind to me.

I realize that on the inside, I'm still a little girl, looking out into the world with hopes that I can do it all, but cautious because who wants to get in trouble. Maybe that's why I appreciate structure so much. I like written rules, so that I will know my boundaries. But then I think, boundaries never stopped me when it came to my weight. Information is abounding on what is the healthiest weight for me, and yet, I cross the line all the time.

My life is so much more than weight, and yet, my life has been stifled by weight. If I am honest, my self esteem has been very low for many years. I sold myself short. Really, I don't even think I sold myself. I think I gave myself away when really I never had to do that at all. I'm glad at 49 I now know this to be true.

I am a person who is worth it. Love is what I'm worth. Whether I am loving me or allowing others to love me. Life circumstances has hindered me to allow others to value me. I think I had no self worth. But see, I'm worth it. Now I know it. I am worth it. I can allow love in, and I can love.

Peace

It's Not That I Don't Love You...Blog

I've had quite a few weeks, and only just really starting to feel half way normal. It's very hard to lose kids. They have been my kids for a very long time,and to have to hand them over and hope for the best, was awful, when all I felt like doing was keeping them where I could see them, and protect them. Will she even know how to protect them? Okay...maybe I'm not ready to blog about this just yet.

Peace

The Goal

Due to my current lifestyle which is to change on tomorrow, I've been a bit movie challenged. As in, I've not had the opportunity to see real adult movies with the exception of once this past year, at an honest to goodness theater. The time has come. My plan is to see 3 of the Oscar nominated movies before the Oscars. The first will be this coming Friday, Black Swan.

Suiting Up For Things To Come

I ordered these tonight and I'm looking forward to their arrival. I have plans. Upcoming, future plans. And if the Lord is willing then so am I. I will finally have the time to get to the gym in the evenings after work, and walk it off some more. OH HAPPY DAY!!!

I've been having heel pain though. Like, I walk like an old lady. I purchased some of those heel support thingee's. My mother suggested them, and today, knowing I had to get around a lot on foot and in my regular shoes, I stopped at CVS and met the most knowledgeable Pharmacy person I've ever met. She schooled me! I came out of there with 2 heel support thingee's, and as soon as I got back to the car, I put 1 of my purchases in my shoes, and OH MY!!! It was heaven!!! The relief was instant. My plan is to purchase a bunch of heel support thingee's and stuff them in all my everyday shoes, including my sneakers.

Winter Storm Delayed...

The babies are still here, but it is to be short lived. The winter weather up north led to changes in travel plans, so now it's Monday. Torture to the nth degree. I'm so ready for it to be over already. I need closure, it there such a thing as having 2 little folks in your home who are related to you for over 2 years to have closure. It's just the anxiety of finally saying, they're not here anymore...

Peace

Foster Care

Well, my babies are out of here tomorrow. They gave me 1 day notice to have them ready and at the airport. You pray? Pray. My prayer is for safety, security, and ...

Peace

Today

Today is my birthday. As I type "birthday" I have an urge to jump around and do the cabbage patch, the running man, and moonwalk. Not. Seriously, what a blessing it is to be another year older. My prayer is that this year be a year of growth, fun, and peace.

Peace

Lazy Saturday

Lazy Saturday, and that's just how I like it. We're doing nada much today. I'm so happy to being much of nothing. Laundry, that's a given. Prepping dinner for Sunday, that's a given. Googling, (no explanation). No, I did not even get out to walk, and I'm drinking way too much iced tea for a chilly day, but I'm in the south and iced tea is what we do here.

I'm getting ready to do a little research on colleges for my son. He's a junior, but we're in 2011 and it's time to start looking seriously at affordability and his plans, and trust me, he has BIG plans. We'll see, as the year goes on, what transpires.

Well, lazy Saturday to you, too. Don't do too much, or you'll make me look bad.

Peace

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!!

I wanted to insert an image but for some reason my image insertion capabilities are sucky today. The image would have said, "HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011," to you. And so, because of my sucky image insertion capabilities, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 to you!!! I really wish it for you, the same as I wish it for me.

There's so many things I wish for this year, but mostly, I wish to be able to walk by faith and not by sight. I want to live as though all of my wishes were true, and they are true, by faith, I believe it is so.

I started my daylight morning hours by rousing from a deep slumber because of total silence in my room. I share my room with a snorer. A 6 year old, sounding just like an old tired man, snorer. No snoring meant she was not asleep. Dang!!! But I had a date with my 16 year old, and he was up and staring at me as I stepped out of my bedroom door. Mind you, he's been home on vacation for almost 2 weeks and this is the first time I've seen him standing on 2 feet, eyes open, and comprehending the English language since day one. He was ready to hit the park, with Mommy. And after weeks of Panera, Mommy was ready, too.

I showered, dressed, grabbed my Ipod and a bottled water and headed out the door and to the park. I enjoyed my walk, but I tell you, 3 weeks of not walking for exercise, not eating as I should, and generally, doing all things wrong during the holiday season, has left me out of shape, out of shape. Some of you may know what that means. Yes, I'm over weight, and so that makes me out of shape, but I was losing, and pretty active. Since my self imposed hiatus of anything remotely healthy, I'm overweight and out of shape, hereby, out of shape, out of shape.

Back to my wishes, and faith walk. I'm looking forward to losing as much weight as I can while still enjoying good foods. I'm looking forward to doing more fun things for a single, 48, soon to be 49 year old Mom. I know I have hurdles, (the children will be leaving, just a matter of when is a big hurdle), but I'm looking forward to conquering all of my hurdles, and I will, by faith.

Peace

Wishing You and Yours a Very Merry & Blessed Christmas.

Dooney & Bourke was gifted to me this Christmas, so it's a marvelous Christmas!!! Make up case and key fob, (don't you just love that word), included. I pray that you have had a wonderful day so far. God is blessing here and I am thankful. I'm still overdosing on bread, and I hate it.

Hair it is.

Sometimes I'm at a loss as to what pictures to share with you, dear blog. Generally I take a picture of myself just about every day, but..., most times I delete-delete, because I am not the most photogenic person. In fact, I can say that I'm a deer in headlights. Cameras bring out the stiffness in me. If I snap one of myself, usually, it takes about 10 shots before I get one I like, and even then it's suspect.

Weight. I think I don't like pictures because of my weight. Plus, I have gray in my hair at least 3 weeks out of 5 or 6 weeks. They show up, and I know they're coming, but still...I'm surprised. Why does my hair have to gray early? Who told my dad to have this type of hair? I know it was him because I have way more gray than my mom, plus, there's pictures of him, sporting a process in the early 60's and then a bald spot surrounded by grays in the 70's and 80's. And the hairs are not just gray. They are white! Luckily for me my eyebrows are still brown because I have a cousin, her eyebrows and eyelashes...gray. So, I'm thankful. Where's the mirror?

I'm Beginning

I am really beginning to hate BREAD!!! And along with it the dreaded Panera's!!! For the last 2 weeks I feel as if bread has ruined me. I feel like a bagel. Round, full bodied, with a whole in the middle called my mouth! Just needed to vent. Tomorrow I weigh. It won't be good.

Tick.......Tock

Just holding my breath, and waiting for the verdict of when? She told her mom tonight that she didn't want to leave. She told me that she liked her friends, and she loved me and she wanted to stay here with me. She asked me to rescue her again just in case. What do I do? I hold my breath.

Peace

Life Ever Changes

So, I've been very down lately because the little people in my home for the last 2 plus years will be going back to their parent. We are all related, but they won't be living on my street, in my neighborhood, in my village, in my state. They will be far away from me, and I will worry about them. I don't know how I can even say bye bye. Heart wrenching, heart breaking, and yet, once they leave, I will be free to do lots of me things. That's me trying to look on the bright side because the real side is oh so sad.

The bright side says I will be free to not rush out of work and pick up babies, and dash home for meals, showers, homework, yelling, quiet, and night night, because tomorrow we get up and dash, and bustle, and hustle to do it all over again.

The bright side says I can go to the gym after work, and walk safely in a building with an indoor track because by the time I get off of work, the park I love is too dark, and I don't feel so comfortable walking in the park at night.

The bright side says that at a moments notice I can go to the beach and crack crab legs and stare at the ocean, and maybe shop a bit.

The bright says says that I can sleep in an hour or so later, and not have the morning rush to get it all together and still look cute when I get to where I'm going. Why, I can even go to Wednesday night bible study if I want, or stop in at one of the local restaurants for a leisurely dinner. Why, I might even Zumba! Who knows???!!!

The real side says I'm not in...

Peace